They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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