I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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