I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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