I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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