One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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