butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
