3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
