Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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