There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Operation Purity has been aborted
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
