I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
