every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize