Are we in a gay sports bar?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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