If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize