What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this beer tastes like vomit already
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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