Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How does one acquire holy water?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
