How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
