Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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