i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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