I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
