Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
