there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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