But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We are all done wearing pants today
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
