Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
