I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
