Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
