the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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