3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
