Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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