why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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