the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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