Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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