Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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