my sisters under your porch take her home
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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