Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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