p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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