For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i came on her dog
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize