They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it because I queefed?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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