I puked a lego.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
