He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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