in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
