I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
