Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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