yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
