at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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