Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
