So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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