She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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