Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You pole danced in your parka.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
