How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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