Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As shirtless as possible
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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