I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
