Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
