there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
