She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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