Porn is love you can see.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
