Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if only i could text you this smell
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
