return my video game
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
