I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
