Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
