wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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